I have a dream, and that dream is slowly becoming a reality!

Ever since I can remember, I've been drawn towards femininity, from wearing my mum's silk nightdress when I was 4, totting around in oversized heels and making a colourful mess of my face at the dressing table, it was good, it was girly, it was me... but it was wrong! I was a boy, and dressing up with makeup was for girls.

It didn't stop me though, trying different lipsticks, playing with eye shadows and mascara, and looking on enviously as girls got to wear the clothes that I wanted to wear. The only girl's clothes in the house were my mums, and they were too big.

I remember growing up not knowing anything about a crossdressing transvestite; I just remember liking girl stuff.

Then, I saw a film on TV, to this day I don't know the name of the film but it's had a long lasting impression on me. It was about a man, who met and befriended some transvestites, it was set in the 1930's, he was straight, and they slowly brought him into their world with a little peer pressure, bit by bit. It started with a loan of a lipstick; he tried it, enjoyed it, and was a little turned on. When they met, they'd ask questions, and lipstick became mascara, blusher, eye shadow... He tried a dress for the first time, something moved inside, it was exciting, now for heels, lingerie, the hair and nails...eventually, he was meeting his friends as a woman, he had changed and it was natural.

This was a life changing moment, I didn't know other people felt the same; I hadn't heard of a crossdressing transvestite before and certainly didn't connect myself to being one. I needed to know more.

These were the days before the internet, the subject was taboo, I was alone with only the memories of the film and a growing urge to become more feminine myself, but I wasn't gay, I don't fancy men, I don't understand.

I always had a feeling of being a woman in a previous life, and drawn to a certain style of clothes, long skirts, corsetry, long hair pulled back.

Then I saw adverts in papers, telephone numbers to call and speak to people like me, this was too much to resist and I started calling other transvestites just to chat.

I'd dress up as much as I could, when my parents were out the house, and just enjoy feeling complete. Then as I grew up, and started going out with girls, I'd be dating the girls I wanted to be! I'd be attracted by their hair, clothes and make up, and at times, tried some of their clothes without them knowing.

I got a job and started earning money, but I couldn't buy my own clothes, I had no where to put them.

All the time, I was still one of the lads, I had many girlfriends and I kept the secret hidden, I suppressed it for a while.

I got married and have a wonderful wife and a couple of great kids, I love them dearly, but I still have the same inner feelings!

I now know so much more of this world and cross dressing, it's helped me understand I'm not alone, and that it's ok!! Although it's not something I'm willing to share with anyone - there's just too much to lose!

I've tried the occasional dressing service, I've bought make up and heels the occasional dress, and become "Cassie" every now and again when I'm in a hotel overnight away with work, but I always get a guilty feeling, a thought of I shouldn't be doing this, and when I look in the mirror, it's not the same girl that's in my head.

I want to enjoy this; it's not hurting anyone if they don't know! And it's really difficult not being able to share Cassie with anyone! I've often had a fantasy of being kidnapped, and transformed into a woman against my will, and having to live my life out as Cassie, delicious!

I'd stumbled across feminization hypnosis by chance, and saw a link to JJ at 'Dress Me Up' well, the first thought was - She's absolutely stunning, she wears clothes that I could only dream about and her makeup is to die for. I realised at that moment that I would have to meet her, could she help me become the girl I'd dreamed about my whole life, could she help get rid of the guilty feelings and give me the outlet I craved?

I put it off a few times and then plucked up the courage to call. She so understood and made me feel so at ease on that first telephone call, that I couldn't wait to meet her and help find Cassie together.

I booked an appointment, and couldn't wait to get there. I booked a day off work, but planned to travel overnight, allowing myself the luxury of going straight to a hotel after my visit.

I pulled up outside the apartment, my heart racing by this point, and called to say I'd arrived.

I knocked at the door, and when it opened I met my JJ for the first time. She was gentle, supportive, understanding...and so completely sexy and sensual to all the senses.

We sat and talked about Cassie, who she was, what she liked, what clothes, makeup, look feel, desires...I was in heaven, I haven't been able to talk like this with anyone in my whole life, and I had 4hrs ahead of me, this was the start of my dream becoming a reality.

I stripped from my male clothes, and stepped into the unknown.

I was guided to the bathroom, a bathroom with candles, feminine scents, perfumes, and cleansing lotions and face masks, I was about to start my journey, the journey to find out who I am, who Cassie is. After cleansing my face, JJ had run me a luxurious bubble bath, I climbed in. I've had bubble baths before, but this was different, my senses were heightened with anticipation.

JJ brought me a glass of Champagne and applied a face mask, to deep cleanse my face for my makeover, delicious!

I stepped from the bath, dried myself and pulled on a beautiful and feminine bath robe / chemise, stepped into heeled slipper and I'm sure I glided into the boudoir, this was intoxicating, and I felt so at ease, chatting with JJ as if we'd been girlfriends for years.

As I sat in the boudoir, we chatted about the look I was going for, I'm a girly girl, not a tart or diva, so wanted just to feel as feminine as I could. I'd asked for some false nails, I've always wanted long nails, painted, feminine.

JJ had bought some for me, but didn't have any sticking pads, only glue... acetone was used to remove them later. Well, I had business meetings the next day and had to drive to London, I couldn't run the risk of them getting stuck!

But, at that moment, I was becoming Cassie, the ambience and everything about the moment said do it, be as feminine as you can be, enjoy it and live with whatever comes, it was titillating, exciting and the rush of adrenaline I had when I said - "do it" was a moment that will live with me forever! JJ asked if I was sure, but there was no turning back I wanted so much to be a woman at that point it scared and excited me in one go.

As each nail was applied, and glued in place, I started to feel like a girl, I changed inside, I felt Cassie taking over, I can't describe it, JJ kept winking at me, and I loved every minute!

My nails were on, and they felt like they were never coming off, we painted them, and my toe nails, and then it was time to apply my makeup.

The feeling of having foundation applied, dusted, eyebrows pencilled, blusher, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and then lipstick applied was my every fantasy, I now felt like a woman, I had desires I'd never known before, I wanted my dress and heels, I wanted my breasts to grow, I wanted to stay like that forever and the strangest sensation I had, I wanted a man, I was a woman and it was utterly delicious.

My time that afternoon with my JJ was the happiest few hours I've had in a long time, and only JJ and I know about it.

This is only the start of my journey to find Cassie, but it's a journey I'm going to share with JJ I can trust her, and she knows what I want, she'll help me get there.

It was good, it was girly, it was me... and it was so right!

Cassie